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Belonging & being
excluded
Belonging or not belonging
What does
belonging imply?
Feeling you have an enhanced identity?
Having
a sensation of power?
Complying
to certain tacit or explicit rules?
Having
both privileges & constraints?
... Does
the fact of belonging to a group necessarily lead to exclusion?
Clearly not. There are so many groups & categories that each of us don't belong to w/out
us feeling excluded.
Rather
exclusion springs from the desire to belong while not being able to. Such a description seems to place the onus for exclusion
on the individual or group of individuals whereas both belonging & being excluded aren't
just the attributes of an individual but are above all on-going relationships in which technology may or may not play a role.
Clearly the attitude or behavior of those in groups & of those
outside them are at the heart of exclusion.
Is it in
the nature of certain types of groups that they naturally seek to grow & when they can no longer grow, to defend their identity?
Such was
Elias Canetti's hypothesis in his book "Crowds & Power" ... & as a consequence, do (dominant
& would-be dominant) groups necessarily set out to create a strong desire to belong to them even if the conditions are such that most people can't?

Tools of exclusion?
Does the
use of tools necessarily lead to the exclusion of those not using them?
How many
people feel excluded because they don't have a printing press or a video recorder?
Is it not
rather the fact of making tools appear necessary to everybody for would-be essential activities that creates the feeling of exclusion on the part of those who are unable to use them, especially when those tools can't completely fulfil their promise?
Is this
not exactly what advertising sets out to do: make a product seem absolutely essential even if you don't need it or can't have it?
The
information society - our saviour? Don't the market forces (& to a lesser extent the
political forces) behind the adoption of information & communication technologies push for widespread if not all-embracing
use of these tools?
Commercially
speaking the aim is clearly to have a maximum number of customers. As for government administrations, hoped for savings in
using such technologies will be lost if traditional means have to be maintained in parallel w/new electronic tools.

But is
the search for "all-embracing, universal solutions" that are good for everyone feasible or even desirable? Dare we ask the question?
Universal
access
Isn't the talk
of universal access to the so-called "Information Society" tools an indication that the use of such tools is seen by
its advocates as necessarily involving everybody?
Doesn't talking
about the need for universal access, imply that:
-
it's essential that everyone have "access"?
-
that many don't have access &
that providing access is likely to be a problem?
In international
discussions about the future of telecommunications, universal access (to the Global Information
Infrastructure) is posited as a right. Should it be?
But even
if such an all-embracing project were feasible, is it desirable? In their drive to profit from the largest possible market, aren't commercial interests blinded by their own egotistical desires into believing that what they sell is just what everybody else wants?
The market
is like the mirror on the wall in Snow White... "Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the most beautiful of them all?..." Woe
betide those who believe the market never lies!

At the same time, isn't the attention given to universal access symptomatic
of a belief that possessing the tools is in itself sufficient?
"Just plug-in
& away you go!" says the slogan. Strangely enough for a proclaimed knowledge society, emphasis continues to be
placed on the possession of commodities rather than the development & use of knowledge.
Access
to the Global Information Infrastructure w/out the knowledge to use that access is meaningless?
Access to the Global Information Infrastructure & (occasionally) the related
knowledge are seen as a source of empowerment for those excluded from power. Is this hope justified?
When portable
video came onto the market in the '60s, militant organizations were full of hope. Here was a tool that would democratize mass media. Events turned out quite different. For one, they had overlooked the problem
of language.

Although the Net isn't
really comparable, there's been a similar belief in the empowerment of tools forgetting that most disempowerment springs from social systems & the lack of human, rather than technological, skills.
Some possible paths to follow ...
-
Exclusion is
essentially a question of relationships. Advocates of technological solutions systematically forget the need for "human skills". One way of approaching this problem might be to re-evaluate necessary skills & know-how in the modern
world so as to include human & relational skills. (See the special report on Emotional Intelligence)
-
It might be fruitful to cease thinking of such technologies as all-embracing. One possible way of doing so would be to start by asking ourselves some basic questions:
Where are we going? Why are we going there? How do we plan to get there? How does this fit into the larger picture?
-
Instead of talking exclusively in terms of universal
access, it might be instructive to explore the implications of guaranteeing the right to be disconnected. It might also be interesting to rehabilitate the counterpart of rights by considering the associated responsibilities.
Alan McCluskey, St-Blaise, 14th May 1997



We all want to
have the sense that we belong among people we know.
Where do we really
belong? What makes us feel less like we belong? What makes us feel more like we belong?
Where do you belong?
You belong where you say you belong! The decision about whether you belong w/others is your decision, not
theirs.
In the adult world, we're seldom "kicked out" or excluded
from any groups. People from a certain group might mistreat us & this might help us decide to leave. But, even then, it's
our decision, not theirs.
The question of whether we feel like we belong
should be based on how we are treated while we are actually with the group.
But people who fear that they don't belong usually feel excluded before
they've spent any time at all w/that group!
"I'd never be good enough for them." "They'd never let anyone like me in." "People like them don't
care what people like us have to say." "I'm just too [dumb, wise,
fat, skinny, sick, healthy, young, old, etc.] for those people." "They're just too [dumb, wise, fat, skinny, sick, healthy, young, old, etc.] for me."
Look back on your life & ask yourself: "Who
have I decided that I belong with?" "Who have I accepted into my world?"
Then look back again & ask: "Who
have I decided I don't belong with?" "Who have I excluded from my world?"

What makes you feel less like you belong?
We decide whether
we belong based on our experience or on our beliefs.
From our experiences If some people in a group mistreat you, deciding to leave them can be a good
decision. This is especially true if you objected to the mistreatment but nothing changed afterwards.
From our beliefs But if you haven't been mistreated by people in a certain group & you only think you'll be mistreated, it's your beliefs that are keeping you from the feeling of belonging.
Such beliefs are both bigoted against them & terribly restrictive for you!
It's bad enough
to restrict yourself because of your own beliefs. It's even worse to exclude yourself because of someone
else's beliefs.
When it comes
to a decision as important as whether to cut a whole group of human beings out of your life, I don't care at all what your parents, or your culture or even your priests / rabbis / ministers think.
I care what YOU have experienced. And whether you have spoken up for yourself about being treated well. And what you've decided
& whether these decisions are working for you or not.

What can you
do to feel more like you belong?
If you're actually
mistreated by some people in a certain group: Don't judge the group. Judge the individuals.
Tell the people
who are mistreating you that it has to stop. If they stop for a long while, stay w/them.
If they only stop for a short while, consider leaving.
If they don't
stop, leave. Join a better group. And congratulate yourself for trying!
Whether you stay
or leave, remember that some of these people did treat you well.
If you're only
thinking that you'll be mistreated, ask yourself where your opinion came from:
Is it only based
on what you heard from someone else?
Is it based on
your experience w/a few people you think are similar? Is it based on your experience w/many people you think are similar?
Admit that you
fear being mistreated by the people in this group. Then ask yourself: What kind of mistreatment do I fear?
If it did happen,
how bad would it actually be? Am I so afraid that it's not even worth trying to accept the new group?
Most importantly: How would you treat yourself after you got home from being mistreated? Would you treat yourself even worse than the people in the group treated
you? Is the biggest problem what they think of you or what you think of you?

Ask Yourself:
If I exclude another group, where will I get the feeling of belonging that I need? If I just need to find a better group, which group will I try next?
Can I allow myself
to think in terms of individuals instead of whole groups?
Is there some
way I stir up the very mistreatment I try to avoid? If so, how can I change this?
You belong where you say you belong!
Give people a chance to treat you well. Accept them & spend your time w/them.
You belong w/good people.
You belong wherever you say you belong!
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Brain
Scans Show Rejection Causes Pain Similar To Physical Pain
Researchers at UCLA have demonstrated
with Functional MRI (fMRI) scans that the pain of rejection looks similar in a brain scan to the neuronal activation pattern seen with physical pain.
In the first of 3 rounds,
experimenters instructed UCLA undergraduates just to watch the 2 other players because "technical difficulties" prevented
them from participating.
In the second round, the students
were included in the ball-tossing game, but they were excluded from the last 3/4 of the
3rd round by the other players.
While the undergraduates later
reported feeling excluded in the 3rd round, fMRI scans revealed elevated activity during
both the 1st & 3rd rounds in the anterior cingulate. Located in the center of the brain,
the cingulate has been implicated in generating the adverse experience of physical pain.
"Rationally we can say being excluded doesn't matter, but rejection of any form still appears to register automatically in the brain & the mechanism appears to be similar to the experience
of physical pain," Lieberman said.
When the undergraduates were
conscious of being snubbed, cingulate activity directly responded to the amount of distress that they later reported feeling at being excluded.
The researchers also detected
elevated levels of activity in another portion of the brain, the right ventral prefrontal cortex,
but only during the game's 3rd round.
Located behind the forehead
& eyes, the prefrontal cortex is associated with thinking about emotions & with self-control.
"The folks who had the most
activity in the prefrontal cortex had the least amount of activity in the cingulate, making us think that one area is inhibiting one or the other," Lieberman said.
The psychologists theorize
that the pain of being rejected may have evolved because of the importance of social bonds for the survival of most mammals.
"Going back 50,000 years,
social distance from a group could lead to death & it still does for most infant mammals," Lieberman said. "We may have
evolved a sensitivity to anything that would indicate that we're being excluded. This automatic alarm may be a signal for us to reestablish social bonds
before harm befalls us."
"These findings
show how deeply rooted our need is for social connection," Eisenberger said. "There's something about exclusion from others that is perceived as
being as harmful to our survival as something that can physically hurt us & our body automatically knows this."
There are interesting
legal ramifications to this report. As the cost of fMRI & other objective measures of pain become more advanced
don't be surprised if fMRI & other tests are used in legal cases to buttress claims of pain & suffering to win legal
awards.
This will be seen
as unfair to those w/higher pain thresholds & less sensitivity to rejection
& to treatment that others might perceive as unfair & painful.
Is it fair for people who suffer differing degrees of emotional pain from the same experience to receive different sized legal settlements
because they're not equally prone to feeling emotional pain in response to traumatic experiences?
There's another ramification
to this report: humans are wired to not want to be rejected by other humans. As the authors state, this is probably a consequence of human evolution.
Well, suppose it becomes possible
for people to modify their minds to reduce their need for acceptance by others. This would have all sorts of consequences for behavior.
A great many human activities
are performed (for both good & ill) in order to win acceptance from others. What would be the net effect of a reduced desire to be accepted?
My guess is that among many
other effects it would tend to reduce altruistic behavior & would reduce the incentive to avoid doing things that are inconsiderate of others.
The ability to edit memories,
change one's personality, change very basic desires & to change what causes pain or pleasure could provide us w/many benefits.
But it could also create changes
in human nature that undermine civilization. When it becomes possible to reduce one's feeling of empathy or to stop oneself from feeling guilty over acts committed against others some malevolent & foolish people will choose to do so.
This could be done out of
a motive to reduce suffering. Some who feel very rejected & in pain from rejection will decide to eliminate the pain response that occurs when one is rejected. Imagine the
consequences if more people became indifferent to the approval of others.
The ability to do brain reprogramming
is going to force the issue of what constitutes a rights-possessing being. Ayn Rand's claim that rights are a product of our
ability to think rationally is just not an adequate explanation.
It's part of the explanation
but only a part. What we feel pain or pleasure over in dealing w/others plays a large role in causing us to treat others fairly or unfairly.
It seems inevitable that our
minds will become much more mutable in the future. Once that happens we'll have to face the question of how to decide whether
each person who opts to have mind modifications done still possesses the minimum set of qualities that are necessary for a
human to possess to safely live in a society, respect
the rights of others & carry out
responsibilities that are expected of anyone who is a member of that
society.
This is far from the only
report that suggests there are qualities of the human brain that help support the functioning of humans in societies. See,
for example my previous post on altruistic punishment for another example. Also, see the post Emotions Overrule Logic To Cause Us To Punish. By Randall Parker at 2003 October 14 02:55 AM
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