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forever & always

Your dictionary definition of:
 
for·get   
v. for·got, (-gt) for·got·ten, (-gtn) or for·got for·get·ting, for·gets
v. tr.
  1. To be unable to remember (something).
  2. To treat with thoughtless inattention; neglect: forget one's family.
  3. To leave behind unintentionally.
  4. To fail to mention.
    1. To banish from one's thoughts: forget a disgrace.
    2. Informal. To disregard on purpose. Usually used in the imperative: Oh, forget it. I refuse to go!

v. intr.

  1. To cease remembering: Let's forgive and forget.
  2. To fail or neglect to become aware at the proper or specified moment: forgot about my dental appointment.

Idiom:
forget (oneself)

To lose one's reserve, temper, or self-restraint.

visit nurture 101! The info there is so important!

 
There's a new site in the network! I am almost finished completing each page, but I can't wait anymore to tell you all about it! Please pay it a visit soon! It's an important topic!
 

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Don't forget that your children have problems too. They need the same kind of love, patience & understanding that you do.

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Have We Forgotten to Laugh?
By Tel Asiado

"We are all familiar w/ the expression ‘laughter is the best medicine.’ When we let go of our negative thoughts & feelings long enough to laugh, we allow ourselves to be healed, at least for those moments. When we’re stuck on a difficult problem, laughter can get our minds & get our creativity flowing again."

Note to Readers: I've been nicely informed that showing the entire article here is in violation of copyright terms, so feel free to click on the link provided at the bottom of the page, with the other web links to read this article in its entirety.

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Not Forgotten
Issues Facing Vulnerable Adults: Isolation

Isolation & self-neglect are common among people who are elderly or have disabilities. Isolation is defined as the lack of participating in activities that require contact with people. This problem applies to people regardless of their education, income, ethnicity, geographic location or social lifestyle.

People who are most at-risk of isolation are frail or chronically ill, widowed or divorced, usually female, living alone, have reduced resources & are members of a minority group. Isolation may lead to loss in personal integrity, estrangement from family & friends, inability to care for one's self & deterioration of the ability to think & make decisions.

Isolation can result in self-neglect, which is a form of elder abuse when living conditions are potentially life threatening.

Isolation may lead people to be self-neglecting to the point that they deny any physical or mental problems & refuse help from family & friends.

Isolated people usually have:

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Isolation & self-neglect require individual or community intervention. The communication & attention other persons provide can improve the self-esteem & lifestyle of an isolated elder.

They can act as confidantes, assist with errands, housekeeping, or meet transportation needs. People who are isolated can benefit from support groups for people living alone. Support groups are effective because they provide the opportunity for sharing experiences, mutual support & problem solving.

Intergenerational programs can help reduce isolation for older people. Young At Heart is a community project that recruits, trains, & matches older adults with children in child-care centers.

There are Young at Heart projects in several cities around the state. To find out if there is a Young at Heart program near you, call the Day Care Information Hotline at 1-800-862-5252. This program is found in the state of Texas.

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Issues Facing Vulnerable Adults: Depression

Everyone feels sad or blue sometimes. But when sadness persists & interferes with everyday life, it may be depression. Very treatable, depression affects about 15 out of every 100 adults older than age 65.

How to Recognize Depression
Recognizing depression in the elderly & people with disabilities isn't always easy. Vulnerable adults with depression may not know how to explain how they feel. They also may fear that they'll be labeled as "crazy" or as having character weakness. Vulnerable adults & their families may dismiss depression as a passing mood.

Common Symptoms
Symptoms may include persistent sadness, feeling slowed down, excessive worries about finances or health, frequent tearfulness, weight changes, pacing & fidgeting, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating & physical symptoms such as pain or gastrointestinal problems.

Causes
Since depression is commonly due to biological changes in the brain, it's likely to occur for no apparent reason. Biological changes to the brain & body, medical illnesses, or genetics may put groups like elderly people at greater risk of depression.

A specific event like retirement or the loss of a partner or loved one may lead to depression - it's normal to grieve over such events, but if the grief persists, it may be a sign of depression. Illnesses such as cancer, Parkinson's disease, heart disease, stroke, or Alzheimer's disease may cause late-life depression. These diseases may also hide symptoms of depression.

Suicide & Depression
Suicide is more common in older people than in any other age group. The population of people older than age 65 accounts for 25% of the nation's suicides. Suicidal attempts or severe thoughts should be taken seriously.

Treatment: Most people can improve dramatically with treatment, which may include psychotherapy, antidepressant medications & other procedures. Psychotherapy can play an important role with or without medications. There are many forms of short-term therapy (10 to 20 weeks) that have proven to be effective.

Antidepressants help restore the balance & supply of neurotransmitters in the brain. Mixing doses, taking the wrong amount, or suddenly stopping antidepressants may result in negative effects.

Caring for a Person with Depression
The first step is to make sure the person gets a complete physical checkup because depression may be a side effect of another medical condition. If the person is confused or withdrawn, accompany the person to the doctor.

The doctor may refer the person to a psychiatrist. If the person is reluctant to see a psychiatrist, try to assure the person that an evaluation is necessary to determine what treatment is needed.

Forget Something? We Wish We Could

'Therapeutic forgetting' helps trauma victims endure their memories.


Remorse. Heartbreak. Embarrassment. If we could erase memories that haunt us, would we? Should we? Scientists who work with patients suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are developing a new science that has been called "therapeutic forgetting."

But by erasing traumatic memories, are we changing the person? Are we erasing capacity for empathy?

Last year, the President's Council on Bioethics expressed concern that "memory numbing ... could dull the sting of one's own shameful acts ... allow a criminal to numb the memory of his or her victims.

"Separating subjective experience of memory from the true nature of the experience that is remembered can't be underestimated," says the Council's report. "Do those who suffer evil have a duty to remember & bear witness, lest we forget the very horrors that haunt them?"

The research community is divided on this issue. "I think there's an ethical concern," says Mark Barad, MD, professor of psychiatry & biobehavioral sciences at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute. "It's hard to estimate what's important about a memory, how the memory interacts with who we are, how it affects our ability to empathize.

"Philosophically, I'm on the side of extinguishing fear rather than blocking memory," Barad tells WebMD. "Given my experience with people with PTSD, we're talking about a very severe downside to blunting memory."

After all, would Holocaust survivors wish to blunt their memories? Would that be good for society? Or should people have the freedom to decide if they want horrible memories softened?

The Birth of Trauma

James McGaugh is a pioneer in the neurobiology of learning & memory. He directs the Center for Neurobiology of Learning & Memory at the University of California at Irvine.

For several decades, he has performed numerous animal & human experiments to understand the processes involved in memory consolidation. He believes strongly in the work being done to help people suffering from PTSD.

An event becomes a strong memory, a traumatic memory, when emotions are high, he explains. Those emotions trigger a release of stress hormones like adrenaline, which act on a region of the brain called the amygdala & the memory is stored or "consolidated," explains McGaugh.

Current studies have focused on a drug called propranolol, which is commonly prescribed for heart disease because it helps the heart relax, relieves high blood pressure & prevents heart attacks.

"Hundreds of thousands, millions of people take this drug now for heart disease," he tells WebMD. "We're not talking about some exotic substance."

Studies have shown that "if we give a drug that blocks the action of one stress hormone, adrenaline, the memory of trauma is blunted," he says.

The drug can't make someone forget an event, McGaugh says. "The drug doesn't remove the memory - it just makes the memory more normal. It prevents the excessively strong memory from developing, the memory that keeps you awake at night.

The drug does something that our hormonal system does all the time - regulating memory thru the actions of hormones. We're removing the excess hormones."

Acting Fast to Forget

The first to treat PTSD patients with propranolol was Roger K. Pitman, MD, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital & Harvard Medical School. He'd just as soon forget the term "therapeutic forgetting."

"We think of PTSD as an exaggeration of the emotional response to trauma," Pitman tells WebMD. "Something so significant, so upsetting, so provocative has happened that there has been a rush of stress hormones, the hormones that act to burn a memory into the brain, to the point that the memory becomes maladaptive. Our theory is that the adrenaline rush is burning the memory too deeply."

Timing is critical. Once PTSD has developed, it's too late to change stored memory, says Pitman. "It's important to intervene soon enough to affect memory consolidation."

In his study, Pitman gave propranolol to emergency room patients within 6 hours of a traumatic event. He found that 6 months later they had significantly fewer signs of PTSD.

"It's not that they couldn't remember the accident," McGaugh explains. "They couldn't remember the trauma of the accident. They didn't have as many symptoms of PTSD. It's a very important distinction."

Making Sense of Trauma

Propranolol was used to treat PTSD, with fairly good success, in a small study treating sexually abused children. It's also prescribed for specific phobias like public speaking, says Jon Shaw, MD, a PTSD expert & director of child & adolescent psychiatry at the University of Miami School of Medicine.

The drug "erases the acute emotionality of the situation so people can function," he tells WebMD. "It's the "deer in the headlights phenomenon. The intense emotionality paralyzes & interferes with the memory-integration process."

When someone has been exposed to trauma, "the more intense the emotion is, the more fragmentation there is in the memory," Shaw explains.

"They don't have a realistic, coherent narrative of what happened. Some aspects are heightened, others are diminished. They're left with an overwhelming sense of the event, yet they can't really piece it together, so they can't really achieve mastery over it. They lose their rational ability to understand it."

Propranolol could be used to "immunize" someone against trauma only in a minority of cases, says Pitman. "We can't use it in combat because soldiers need adrenaline to fight. But if they have just returned from a terrible battle & they're traumatized, then it has potential application."

The Ethical Concerns

McGaugh has no problem with this use of propranolol. After all, "every pill that goes into your body does something to change you," he tells WebMD. "Antidepressants, antipsychotics - all of these are designed to help people function better. Society crossed that bridge years ago."

He offers a more graphic example: If a soldier is wounded on a battlefield, is he left to suffer so that he can learn from that experience?

"Imagine it: Do you just let him lie there & bleed to death because he needs to suffer the consequences of having killed another human being in battle?

We give him first aid, pain medication, we do everything can. But if he's having an emotional disturbance because of that trauma, we can't do anything about that because that would change the nature of who they are. Doesn't losing a leg change the nature of who they are?"

Yes, there's possible downside to propranolol, McGaugh tells WebMD. "There is a chance that another memory could be affected. If the person gets a call & learns that they have a new grandchild during that time, they might not have quite as strong an experience of that news. Everything comes with a small price. But these are not amnesia pills."

But can a pill take away remorse? "That's silliness," says McGaugh. Will college men rape women students because they don't feel remorse? "Good grief. We're not talking about failing to remember what happened. We're talking about a drug that could prevent memory from taking over your existence, as PTSD does.

"We have people from World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, still living with the horrors of that remembered trauma. If you asked any of these people if you'd want to have PTSD or not, what do you think their answer would be?"

Published April 9, 2004.

Brain Doesn't Always Spot False Memories

Human Brain Not Wired to Remember With 100% Accuracy


Feb. 2, 2005 - Memory isn't perfect, even for the sharpest minds & new insights are revealing memory's flaws.

A test of true & false memories indicates that the brain doesn't always spot misinformation. It's the sort of news that makes criminal lawyers sit up & take notice.

But memory's ebb & flow isn't just a matter for the courts. You've probably experienced it in your own life.

"i.e., you may have a memory of witnessing an important event such as your wedding day, or the birth of a child," write Johns Hopkins University researchers Yoko Okado & Craig Stark, PhD, in February's Learning & Memory.

"You feel you remember these events, but the memories are most likely distorted to some degree."

Those memory-storing glitches may not be huge. You might even swear they don't exist, but if you could time travel to check the facts, you might find some details don't match your memory.

It's normal for memories to fade a bit around the edges, especially over time. People just aren't wired for total recall with 100% accuracy.

Truth vs. Lies

Okado & Stark recently studied true & false memories. They showed 8 vignettes to 20 people aged 18 to 34.

Each vignette unfolded in a series of 50 slides. After a short break, participants watched the vignettes again. They didn't know it, but 12 slides were slightly different in the second viewing.

e.g., one vignette showed a man stealing a woman's wallet & hiding behind a tree. In another version, he hid behind a car.

While watching the vignettes, participants' brains were scanned with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). The scans showed active brain areas.

Two days later, participants were quizzed about what they recalled & the source of those memories - the original presentation, the second presentation, or both.

Misinformation was scored as a false memory if the participants recalled an item as being presented in either slide show.

Participants endorsed misinformation in 47% of the questions. In 27% of those cases, they said they'd seen the detail in the vignette's first (true) version. They attributed the other 20% to both vignette versions.

Brain to Blame?

Brain scans predicted if their memories were accurate or had false information. Two regions of the brain were active in encoding true & false memories. Previous studies have shown that these brain areas (hippocampus) are active during the formation of memories.

Other brain regions, including the prefrontal cortex, put the memories in context. Those areas were less active while participants watched the inaccurate second slide presentation. The weak activity in these regions during the inaccurate presentation indicates that the details of it were poorly encoded during the second presentation.

As a result they were more easily placed in the context of the first slide presentation, creating a false memory.

That set up a "vulnerable situation," says memory expert Elizabeth Loftus of the University of California, Irvine. The misinformation slipped easily into the context of the original event, "creating strong false memories," writes Loftus in a Learning & Memory commentary.

Forging False Memories

Vivid Imagination Can Trick the Brain, Study Shows


 

Oct. 21, 2004 -- The power of suggestion can play games w/ memory, persuading people that false memories are real, according to Northwestern University experts.

While we might like to think that our memories are accurate logs of our lives, that's not always true.

Our memories are imperfect to begin with & forgetfulness isn't the only glitch. The brain can also be convinced that events that never took place actually did occur. That's what happened in Northwestern's recent experiment with 11 adults.

The test was conducted by researchers including Brian Gonsalves, formerly of Northwestern's psychology department & now a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University.

First, participants lay in a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) device, which measured brain activity during a task. The researchers showed them photos or asked them to generate visual images of objects that were not pictured; instead they were given detailed clues to build visual images.

Meanwhile, brain imaging scans were done to see which area of the brain was responding during the test.

Twenty minutes after getting out of the MRI machine, subjects heard a random sequence of words, including 175 objects they had seen in the photographs, 175 objects that they had been asked to imagine, and 175 objects that hadn't been displayed or mentioned.

Sometimes, participants were sure that they remembered seeing photos of objects that they had only visually imagined during the study phase of the experiment.

In other words, the brain persuaded itself that it had seen objects that were visually imagined. As far as the brain was concerned, those false memories were true.

Brain imaging scans showed that different areas of the brain were at work w/false & accurate memories.

The mental images left a trace in the brain that was later mistaken for the trace that would have been produced had the object actually been seen, say the researchers.

The brain activity on MRI during the study phase could predict which objects would subsequently be falsely remembered as having been seen in a photograph.

"We know we can forget quite a bit, but we're not always in touch w/the idea that our memories can sometimes be misleading," says Northwestern psychology professor Kenneth Paller, in a news release.

Paller worked on the study, which appears in the October issue of the journal Psychological Science.

Manipulating Memory
Study: Humans Can Suppress Unwanted Thoughts

By Willow Lawson

March 14: A new study suggests that Sigmund Freud's concept of repression, forcing unwanted memories into the unconscious, exists, which could help explain why some people can't remember traumatizing events like child abuse.
 
Researchers at the University of Oregon report in today's Nature that they mimicked memory repression in the laboratory by having college students learn 40 pairs of unrelated words, such as "ordeal" & "roach."
 
When presented w/one word, subjects were asked to say the matching word aloud. Other times, subjects were told avoid thinking about the second word completely.

Researchers found that people who intentionally tried to forget certain words couldn't recall them later, even when they were offered cash for the right answer.

"People in these studies are, in essence, pushing unwanted memories in to the unconscious, causing them to be forgotten later on," says Michael Anderson, a University of Oregon psychology professor who began his research to find out why victims of childhood abuse have problems recalling the abuse.

Debate Continues Over Freud

The existence of repression has been controversial since Freud claimed people could consciously forget memories of traumatic experiences, like abuse, more than 100 years ago.

But in recent years, repression has been central to the turbulent debate over "recovered memory," whether it's possible to repress a memory of a traumatic experience like childhood sexual abuse & then remember it many years later.

Anderson's study mirrors the findings of another University of Oregon professor, Jennifer Freyd, author of Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse.

"Adults who report child abuse perpetrated by a caregiver are much more likely to report memory impairment than are adults who report child abuse perpetrated by a non-caregiver," says Freyd. "Anderson's new research technique may eventually prove very important for accounting for forgetting in real-life social situations."

But Anderson admits that forgetting a word in a memorized word pair remains very different from repressing traumatic experiences.

"In the current experiments, we use simple pairs of words that are not emotionally significant to the subject & test their memory after a brief delay," says Anderson. "In amnesia for trauma, we are obviously dealing with much more distinctive, emotionally significant experiences."

 

We've forgotten what matters at Christmas

December 20, 1998

By Al Fasoldt
Copyright © 1998, The Syracuse Newspapers

What are you getting for Christmas? 

In a different kind of era, questions like that would be preposterous. We used to have a different idea of what these joyful holidays were all about. They are, after all, holy days, not just holidays. 
This time of year should be a time of giving. We've changed it into a time of getting. It's as if we've turned the Golden Rule upside down. We've forgotten what matters.
 
Caught up with thoughts of the new PC I've ordered for my own Christmas present, I would have forgotten, too. But I didn't sleep well after I was asked that question the other night. 
   
What are you getting for Christmas? 
A couple of pieces of hardware. Silicon &d iron. A toy. A big toy, yes. But a toy. Grownups deserve toys. I won't argue with that. Children shouldn't be the only ones who have fun. But gifts are not things you receive. They're acts. They're thoughts. They're smiles. They're what you give
   
What are you giving for Christmas? 
That's harder to answer, isn't it? Or perhaps harder to evade. Real gifts don't need explanations & deep thoughts. You give because it's the right thing to do. You give because the world always needs a few more random acts of kindness
 
A lot of people don't understand this. A lot of good people don't understand this. 
Like my friend Bill. I worked w/him for years, knew the way his mind worked, matched his thoughts w/mine on a thousand nights on the copy desk of the newspaper we both worked for. He was fast w/a good headline, quick with a sharp retort. But something was missing. 
Two days before Christmas, 25 years ago, a clerk we had just hired came to work crying. We knew little about her except that she had two kids, no husband & a bright spirit
   
Except on that night. She couldn't stop crying. 
I asked what was wrong & she sat down & told all of us her story. She had taken the kids to McDonald's. She'd left her wallet on the table when she picked up her order. When she got back to the table, the wallet was missing. 
   
"A man took it, Mommy," her oldest kid said. A car was speeding out of the lot. It was too dark to make out the model or the license plate. It was her Christmas money, her rent money. Her grocery money. She'd lost $180. 
 
I slipped away & found an envelope. Most of us had just been paid. I went around the office & asked everyone to help. In 10 minutes we came up with $300. 
   
We found a ribbon & wrapped up her gift as best we could.  When she saw the money she cried again. She laughed & cried & smiled, all at the same time. 
   
We were smiling, too. Except for Bill. 
"Know what?" he told me. "Says she lost $180. Gets $300. Bet she does this every year." 
What are you getting for Christmas? 
"Get a life," I told him. 
"What?" 
"Merry Christmas," I mumbled. I never brought up the subject with him again.

 Whatever we do to show our children we love them, nothing can replace times when we give them our complete attention. I believe that the children who have learned that there will be such times for them are the ones who are at least likely to demand it  to compete for it.

We have all been children & have had children's feelings...but many of us have forgotten. We've forgotten what it's like not to be able to reach the light switch. We've forgotten a lot of the monsters that seemed to live in our room at night. Nevertheless, those memories are still there, somewhere inside us.

If the day ever came when we were able to accept ourselves & our children exactly as we & they are, then, I believe, we would have come very close to an ultimate understanding of what "good" parenting means.
 
It's part of being human to fall short of that total acceptance & often far short. But one of the most important gifts a parent can give a child is the gift of that child's uniqueness.

The American Red Cross

Click here to visit the Red Cross page that allows you to access your local chapter of the Red Cross by entering your zip code in the specified box, to see how you can help in your area. You can also call your local Red Cross Chapter that you can find the number for online or in your local phone book to volunteer for any openings that may need to be filled or you can find another way to help others there as well!

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